Adjusting to Change

It has been a very quiet week on the blog.

The Farmer has been doing a lot of reading about nutrition and has decided that it will be more healthy for him to eliminate grains and sugar from his diet. Now you have to know the Farmer to understand that deciding to eat or not to eat something is fairly easy for him. As he says ‘I eat to live, not live to eat.’ The plus for me: it is very easy to cook for him.The minus: denying myself favorite foods  is very hard for me, as I view and use food differently.

For a little over a year now he has been trying different eating styles; no red meat, chicken or pork just fish, back to eating meat but small portions, lots of raw veggies, now no sugar or grain, lots of veggies, heavy on the raw variety, low on the glycemic scale.

I am having to rethink 40+ years of meal planning. I am still trying to figure our what  this new eating plan looks like.

I’ve decided to join the Farmer. Huge Change.

I don’t even realize all that is involved.  I can see value in making these changes from a health aspect for me. I don’t want to fanatical about not eating this or that, but I do want to be consistent. I want to be able to make conscience choices with out having to feel guilty because of the choice.  I don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable around me.

At first, just thinking about the change brought immense fear of failure. the voice I knew so well chanted, I can’t do this, I just can’t do this. I still don’t understand how I was able to get up last Monday and begin. but, I did. I successful all day and all day Tuesday. As I prayed on Wednesday, the words came, “Thank you, Father, that I can do this” and I began to weep.   I thought of the scripture:

Psalms 32:9  Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.

which to me means. Don’t be like a horse or mule that the master must have bridle to lead them around, to cause them to do what is safe and good and profitable for the master.  BUT submit to wisdom and decide ahead of time to obey.

Have I eaten 100% sugar and grain free this week? NO! It’s been about 90-95%.

Do I feel over overwhelmingly better?  NO!  This system has a lot of adjusting to do.

Have I changed my way of thinking about food? or the way I use it as an emotional crutch? NOT YET! Is there hope for change? I think so, possibly, but I don’t know what that feels or looks like – it’s a very dark place.

Writing helps . . . but chocolate tastes better!

All pictures were found by googling “eating pictures”, except candy picture googled  “Hershey Kisses”.

Published in: on November 22, 2011 at 12:55 am  Comments (1)